Ich werde lernen, Schritt fuer Schritt.

Last Wednesday i had my first German lesson in German 5. There are only 12 students taking that module and most of them are students who came back from SEP. They can speak really well..or even if not really well, they are just so comfortable using the language after staying in Germany for 6 to 12 months. Gosh. There's also this Polish guy who has 7 years of experience in learning the language.. i have no idea why is he taking this module!! It seems to me that he probably will not learn anything new cuz he's so proficient in the language already. There's another French guy who also has a good command in the language.

I felt totally intimidated. :(

I doubted whether i made a right choice in taking the module. There were many times i didnt understand what the teacher was saying because there's just too many foreign vocab/ i just didnt catch her words. There are a few times pple nod in agreement or laugh in unison but i had a big question mark on my mind..or maybe even face. It seemed that the pple are there either to polish their German after returning from SEP / chill and pull up their CAP/ and 3 of us who are gg for exchange next semester. sigh. But it was yet another lesson from God. It was more than a language lesson. Feeling so inadequate once again helped me to emphathise even greater with PRC students who come over to Singapore to study. I have seen their strong desire for academic success in Nanyang and NUS. I have seen them struggle with languages (English and German) and yet are always striving.

That reminded me of Exodus 23:9. Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt.

Anyway i rejected thoughts of dropping the module because there's so much i can learn thou i will really struggle. After all, the true challenge lies in my exchange when i face native speakers, not just students with a much better command of the language.

Your grace is enough.

THIS IS OUR GOD

VERSE 1:
Your grace is enough
More than I need
At Your word I will believe
I wait for You
Draw near again
Let Your Spirit make me new

CHORUS:
I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

VERSE 2:
Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of Your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By Your Spirit I am free

BRIDGE:
Freely You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is the love
Poured out for all
This is our God
Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Servant and King
Rescued the world
This is our God

A different window.

After 3 days of waking up early for sch, i finally got to sleep in today! :) Collected my biopass at ICA before i met my mum for Money No Enough2 @ J8. Ate together at the interchange before gg home too :)

Initially i thought Money No Enough2 would be another cliche attempt of Jack Neo to poke fun at the government, but after watching the movie with my mum today, i found it surprisingly good. I didnt enjoy the parts they kept mocking the ERP system cuz the costs of living has to rise and this is inevitable. But perhaps by thinking in this way I am being unfair to the folks who struggle to scrimp and save every cent. Nevertheless, i personally enjoyed the scenes that tug at the heartstring of mine, a true-bred Singaporean Chinese. It provided a window to look at the society differently and reminded me to treasure kinship, sth that we often take for granted.

I liked the scene where the mother and wife of the eldest son reassured him that his value in their hearts that would not be diminished by his failure in his career. It also reminded of our value in God's heart. The pastor from FOP said that every child of God is graded 10/10 in His heart. A constant 10. How cool is that :)

of mixed emotions.

Tue was horrendous. I had a horrible nightmare! And despite waking up at early 6 plus, i arrived 30mins late for my lecture..but only to sleep for 1 hr and woke up for the last 30mins of lecture. I take comfort in knowing this is only the first week of sch and i can slack a lil for my lectures. Waited from 10 to 5 for a stupid thermodynamics tutorial, which was absolutely ridiculous cuz the lecturer hardly taught anything to equip us for the tut. I think the only good thing that happened from 10 to 5 was talking to natalie from 10-11 as she waited for students who wanted to buy her books. :) I had a horrible eye-headache in the evening and night and i was just feeling like crap due to various reasons. Thank God for my mum and sis who cared when i was feeling super down and crying for reasons only God knows.

Today was much better cuz lessons started at 9. Got to know a German exchange student during lecture today thru Arnold and once again i felt my inadequacy in the German lang, esp understanding accented German :( Mum sms-ed me during lect to ask if i was feeling better :) Met Keith after lessons to catch up abt cell stuff and later dear, dalun and desmond came along. Stayed in lib with des for a lil while before i headed home. Dozed off on the journey home and i missed my stop, only to end up at some potong pasir stop. Fortunately, i have a great sense of direction and found my way home eventually. :P

I finally finished reading the Manga Messiah today. Sometimes i wished i have the ability to travel back in time. Should that be possible, i want to go back to the time when Jesus was crucified and died for us... then again, witnessing how our savious died for us may just be too painful to bear.

Back to school!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, and it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejioces with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I decided on 1 Cor: 13 for my key verses of this sem! After 3 months of break, i am ready for a new semester and i am in fact v excited abt the semester. In fact i look forward to all 4 Bioengineering modules because step by step, we are getting closer to the real stuff. lol. I know it will not be easy, esp when i have to wake up at 6.20 for my 8am lessons and the modules are definitely gg to get more and more difficult. And i gotta revise my german soon before lessons start!!! I dont want to be muted and lost during my german lessons... :( and I hope that i will not lose sight of God when the going gets tough. :)

Yay, my current fav song :D

The week has been a great one :)

Sun: watched online movie with dear, FOP with dear and gloria, prayed at my fav swings. Turning point when i got out of the calvinism mind trap, thanks to my mum, dear, FOP sermon and even the manga messiah book that reminded me of God's character as a great God.

Mon: swam, spring-cleaned the house, AMK hub with dear, Fish & co with beth franco and dear, long walk after dinner, chilled at starbucks.

Tue: Solidworks, dark knight with dear, salty popcorn! Amphitheatre at night with cool breeze :)

wed: solidworks, jas dajie and i surprised wayne with a cake. shopped at toa payoh.felt so much like secondary school days when i had time after school to shop. over-ate pancakes and felt like puking when i swam later.. lol

thurs: solidworks. met Victor with dear for lunch. packed my books and notes.


I am very excited about the new semester but yet dread not having as much time to relax like now. But it's ok,i am sure there will be new things God will teach me this coming sem and i am looking forward to it :D

Sie sind mein Gott.

What if reverent fear becomes a warped type of fear? I refuse to accept Calvinism. I cant reoncile with the fact that a loving Father will predestine His creation to be unsaved? Isnt it scary if your family member or friend happens to be one of those God predestined to be unsaved?What's the whole point of evangelism in this case? What if one day we all find out the matrix is true? This is not unimportant because it affects my perception of God, man, salvation, what grace and mercy truly means. The mind is indeed a battlefield.